LOVE WANT Issue 22:  Rebirth with Gemma Ward

Rebirth may possibly be how we remember this moment. More optimistic than the reality of rebuilding, the idea of rebirth grants us some kind of control, putting us in the driver’s seat of life and its infinite possibilities. Change is said to be the only constant but our desire to be that next, better version drives that. And in the ‘new normal,’ it’s never been more important to be better. Not the bread baking better we either embraced or felt victimised by during the first lockdown, but the self-aware, all-in, awake better. In that world (this world) our optimism is to be balanced with very real realities. And instead of striving for balance in itself, the peace - inner, world and otherwise - lies with harmony. Truth is the only way to get there so let’s keep talking. 

Gemma Ward

Down Under, (almost) out the other side of a pandemic, Gemma Ward has her feet firmly on the new-normal ground. Now a mother of three, the face of a generation is back at home and embracing the balance of selfhood with raising a young family in Byron Bay. Ethereal and down to earth all at once, Gemma embodies the kind of soothing self-assurance that has to be learned. As one of fashion’s favourite chameleons, we sat down with Gemma to chat about rebirth, reinvention and how she’s coping in between. 

This story was shot by Bec in her home, both of you nursing your children. That must have been a beautiful experience to share. 

It was a little bit tricky but we made it work. You step back and think ‘wow’, like with a different photographer or in a different situation, that may have come across as really difficult or, perceived as tricky by someone not having children themselves. But it really worked. 

It speaks to people’s inherent adaptability...

We were laughing a lot; looking at the images, nobody would have known. It was really uplifting and inspiring to think ‘Oh yeah, we can do this.’ I’ve always been like that with my kids, kind of that ‘strap ‘em on, let’s go, we can do anything,’ mentality. Of course, that can sometimes be a little trickier but most of the time having the attitude that ‘this is good, it’s normal, it’s just a baby’ has worked for me. 

It’s interesting when you think about integrating your children into the context of your work. The fashion industry is largely filled with women yet working in this way, having your children on set is not totally normalised… Behind the scenes, people are still juggling but it’s decidedly kept that way. 

It’s not a huge part of every woman’s experience because not every woman is a mother but if you are, it’s a big part of your life. So often it feels like there’s an emphasis on getting that ‘baby period’ out of the way, and getting back to work, which can feel like it’s disregarding the chapter. To have that part of your life, especially within fashion, acknowledged and included can be so powerful. Even the subliminal messaging of ‘losing the weight’ and ‘getting back into normal clothes,’ why not embrace more periods? Politically too, to have more room for maternity leave and working mothers. The message can sometimes just feel like ‘Get the baby away!’

It creates an undertone that is so conflicting… like women can do it all, but actually, we don’t fully want to create the space to empower that.

How have you integrated your children into your life? 

It’s not effortless which is what I should point out. I think my mentality has been like ‘It’s hard but let’s do it anyway’. It’s not like this is easy, but there are things that are a part of your life, like work or travel, and where possible, it’s great to let the child be a part of your life. Lessening the stress by not getting too finicky has worked for me but there are so many ways to do it. Everyone has their approach to making it easier and if it’s easier to stay home then that’s what you do. 

This issue is all about ‘rebirth’ - what does that word mean to you?

It’s kind of a juncture in your life that you decide things are going to change or that things do change for some reason or another, and it can happen consciously or not. I used to be fascinated with this ‘rebirth’ idea and sought it very consciously in my life for a period of time. The concept of it is so alluring, this idea that you can decide to change; like metamorphosis, go into a cocoon and come out as a butterfly. Sometimes it’s a lot of hard work to make a real rebirth in your life but for me, rebirth has always been somewhat incremental.

When we were chatting about rebirth in the context of having children, Bart described it as “Every time you have a child, you don’t know the version you were before, so you just rebuild a new version of yourself.”

That’s so true. You have to start completely again. And that feeling that your life has to go in these waves because you get disrupted all the time... For women, we’re always in waves because we have our cycle, but on top of that once you have children, sometimes you can get to this point where you’re doing certain things and then you have a baby and it’s back to square one. 

Thinking of rebirth in relation to your work, have you ever felt the need, or even pressure, to reinvent yourself after being in the industry for such a long time?

Well back to the period of time when I was obsessed with the concept in this abstract way, I loved how different artists reinvented themselves. I became really interested in David Bowie’s manifestations. It became really interesting to me that all of a sudden you can become a different character. My mother always wanted to become an artist and one thing she used to tell me was that she saw her day-to-day living as a work of art she was trying to achieve in some way. It can have a lot of power if you need that in your life. I think that’s what drew me to fashion, that ability to change your character every day.

Working in a space like fashion where you’re transforming every day, when is it that you feel most like yourself?

That’s an interesting question because I think people are so multi-layered and it can be a mistake to feel like you are one thing. It’s nice to have an idea about your values and the things that matter to you, and the way that I am with my family is probably more of who I am, but that Bob Dylan song comes to mind here where he says ‘I contain multitudes’. It’s one of the reasons I love writing - there are so many ways you can look at a person’s journey or character. It can sound vague and chaotic, but that mindset helps me to understand myself more - when I embrace the multitudes I contain and not feel like I am one thing. 

Let’s talk about writing, what led you there?

I’ve always been a big book reader and then I really got into films. As I got deeper into that place, the more that I read and the more that I consumed I just wanted to contribute to this world that was giving me so much.

Some of the stories I’ve recently read back on, I remember so clearly being in a terrible place and needing to put a voice to some of the things that were going on - but reading back, these things feel so surreal. I’ve found that it can be freeing to use metaphors and describe things without being so explicit, it was like an antidote when journaling was too much. So I tended to start thinking of that as a more structured way of dealing with what I was going through. Other ideas tend to creep into my life and just stick around, some I’ll put aside and some I’ll keep going with. It’s nice to know that it’s there and that I can always tap into it. Right now, I’m enjoying finding comedy in things.

Writing can be such a tool for understanding yourself. I’m curious, is there anything you are consciously developing within yourself or a part of yourself you’re figuring out at the moment?

I’m always trying to lessen the stress in my life and how it affects me. There’s always space to have less of an emotional reaction or automatic response to stress. With kids around that can be really hard because you have to centre yourself and not get angry. So I think that is something that I’m always working on and I know that it’s really important to teach your children, for them to learn ways to deal with stress. It’s been a personal struggle for me, but I know it’s been a personal struggle for a lot of people.

At the moment I don’t meditate but I know that helps a lot. I do try and get a lot of exercise when I can because, of course, that helps too. I’m trying to just take it easy and not get too caught up in being a perfectionist which can sometimes happen with me. I’ve gotten a lot better at that over the years though, definitely happy with not being perfect anymore. Writing helps with that too, when you give yourself an arena to have a world where you can explore and experiment without having to show anyone, and it doesn’t matter, that helps. Having other things outside of your actual work has helped me a lot.

2020 was such a wild year for everyone. Outside of your family, where did you find meaning last year and what helped you feel less alone?

Because I had my baby last year, and with the lockdowns and everything, during that period it was all about nature. Getting out into nature, getting the kids into nature - that’s what helped us as a whole family, having the time to go there. When I got to a point where I felt like I could start exercising again, Dave had built this boxing ring and I have a bunch of friends that come and do some training. It’s social, physical and fun, which has really helped over the past year. Especially after having a baby, sometimes you really just want to feel that power in your body again. Finding silver linings in things is also nice too. A lot of people share the sentiment that it’s nice to have more uninterrupted time when you don’t have to get on a plane or rush to work. 

But we’ve been so lucky here in Byron. So many people spent such a long time homeschooling their children and we were just super lucky that we were able to still go to the beach and have school still running for most of that year. We almost felt a bit guilty here, we had it so good.

One of my favourite images from this story is the one with the Chanel handbag. Bart mentioned you have one that you own and it got me thinking about heirlooms and how we pass down these special pieces or discover them through vintage. Why do you think it’s important that fashion is reborn in this way?  

Sustainability, recycling and reusing are so important so it feels special to be able to hold on to the amazing items I’ve been gifted from the designers I’ve worked with and eventually, pass them on to my children, or put them back into the vintage cycle, which I’ve always loved. That was one thing I loved seeing when I was working with designers, how they would recreate vintage. It’s amazing to see vintage reborn, inspiring people. Fortunately, there’s so much more emphasis on it now, recycling materials and patchworking things together. It’s disheartening to hear about the disposal of clothes, that was one thing I was so unaware of in the industry. I hope things can be used, sometimes I feel sad for certain clothes I haven’t worn, they need a life! But my Chanel handbag is one thing I use. Pieces like that are so circular.

They hold energy too which is a beautiful thing.

I know and I hope that one day I’ll see them on my daughters and feel a sense of sentiment remembering where I was when I was their age.